I cherish every second with you
The doctor who diagnosed the ultrasound suddenly stopped talking and rushed to call the doctor for advice. This is the first sign that something is wrong with the child.
The doctor walked into the office, performed a second scan, and wasted no time telling Abby and Robert Ahern what was to come.“What I’m about to tell you is not easy to accept, so I’m not going around,” he began.
And then he told the couple that their unborn daughter had a brain disease.
“He explained that at the beginning of development, there was a violation of neural tube formation, and so our baby was almost completely missing the cerebral hemispheres and the bones of the skull,” Abby said. “He also said that brain defects are ‘incompatible with life’, and even if our baby was born, he would die a few hours after birth.But Aherns found the phrase “incompatible with life” meaningless. Abby writes on her blog: “I cherish every moment spent with my baby.
The couple decided to name their daughter Annie Rachel and did everything to make her born.
People wonder why we don’t get over it
Abby writes: “My antenatal and gynecologist immediately said we could discuss our chances as we digested the news that came to us. “And even though none of them said it directly, I knew they were going to ask me to abort the pregnancy. But for us that is not an option.
Abby wrote an article in the women’s magazine Good Housekeeping in which she said that although no doctor tried to convince the couple, “every time I told family and friends about the what happened, they said, “Are you sure you want to? do this? I could see from their faces that my decision seemed irresponsible to them, that they were surprised why we didn’t put an end to this and abort the pregnancy. Even my two sisters later told me they thought we were crazy.”
Annie was born by caesarean section on June 26 and lived less than 15 hours. But Ahern’s family, their two daughters, relatives and friends tried to hug her and take pictures with her.
I told her “I love you” as many times as I could
On her blog, Abby writes emotionally about Annie’s final moments:
“It was around 11pm. Robert sat up and hugged Annie on the bed while I sat down to take a sip of the soup. Suddenly I heard Annie’s sigh. I turned to look at her, and she sighed again. I took her from Robert’s arms, looked her in the eye and understood everything. We pressed the emergency call button and a nurse came in. I remember I said, “I think this is the end.” She asked if we should call our relatives and we agreed.
Robert and I began to pray for our daughter again, but this time there was no despair in our prayers. Annie struggled to be with us all day and she was tired. God has given us more time than I ever dreamed of, and we are so grateful. It was a beautiful day, and this time I let her go home with a light heart.
Our loved ones walked into the ward and quietly stood around us. …I thanked Annie for changing me…I told her I loved her as many times as I could. And then I saw her leave.
Annie died at 11:34 pm, the same day she was born.
We spent the most loving and wonderful 14 hours and 58 minutes of our lives with our daughter and family and we will never be the same again.
After the doctor declared her dead, the whole family began to pray and ask God to take our daughter home with Him. Then all the relatives hugged us and left us alone with Annie.
We spent over an hour with her while preparing to donate organs. I opened her blanket and admired every inch of her body. I lay on my back, placing it on my chest and stroking my back. I hugged her and Robert hugged me. We are so calm that this state can only be explained by the presence of the divine. God was with us. He answered all of our prayers. You gave us your strength, your endurance, your joy, your time, your presence, and you healed my baby and brought him home.”
We want to spend as much time with her as God can measure.
Although Aherns agreed with the hospital to donate organs, the case of the infant with cerebral palsy was complicated by medical, legal and ethical considerations. A person’s vital organs, such as the heart, lungs, and liver, cannot be removed until the person is declared dead. The usual criterion is “brain death,” but infants with anencephaly do not have a posterior brain but have a normal forebrain at birth and die—other organs may die in the meantime.
But tissue donation is possible. Doctors tried to use Annie’s heart valve as a donor and other organs harvested for research purposes.
But Abby’s main goal is not organ donation.
“We wanted her to be born simply because she was our daughter and we wanted to see her, hug her and spend as much time with her as God wanted us to,” Abby said.
“We let her be born because we love her and want her to make the most of every chance she has, and God can work miracles through her – because even though she has so little to live, we I have seen many miracles. The organ donation was simply a consequence of her death.
She helped me come to God and trust Him
Annie has brought life to others through more than just donating tissues and organs. On the day the article was published in Good Housekeeping, a pregnant woman in Oklahoma City was diagnosed with the same illness as Abby. Annie’s doctor called Abby and offered to help the woman if she had any questions.
The couple “are still at the deciding stage. The woman said the article really made her think… They thought, “Oh my God, we’re not just holding this baby, we’re going to have a funeral. worship it and watch it die.”
But the couple “understood what they needed,” Abby said. “They plan to have children and donate their daughter’s organs.”
But Annie’s biggest influence is on her parents, siblings and especially the woman who gave birth to her.
“She helped me come to the Lord because before that I could never fully trust Him,” Abby says. – We have money, a house, a family, but sometimes it’s too difficult. We just let everything go according to His will, only trusting in God, then my husband and I completely trusted God, we didn’t want to. what else… She makes me more vulnerable.
After going through everything, Abby has become much more sensitive. At times, people avoided talking to her about the loss, seeming embarrassed and unsure of what to say.
“Now, if I see something has happened to a person, I always try to talk to him, because it would be much worse to say nothing at all,” she said. “There is nothing more painful than watching your child die, so don’t be afraid to talk to me.Months passed, and Abby’s friends noticed that “old Abby was coming back” to them. But it’s not “old Abby”, but a new one:
“The New Me has met many women who have lost loved ones and are no longer afraid of being hurt. The “new me” has a much deeper relationship with God because I went through a time when I could not exist without faith…
Annie’s story is a story of hope. She shows everyone that even in the deepest sadness there is room for beauty. Annie doesn’t just belong to us, everyone should know her story, and I plan to tell her story for the rest of my days.
